|Few daily activities provide so much conflict in our household as teeth brushing.|
Teeth brushing has become a hot-button issue as the kids (usually the younger one) often say they have done so when in fact they have not. "Mendacity!" as Tennessee Williams might have said, had he raised small children and become bedeviled by their non-compliance.
I admit I have taken much of the joy out of teeth brushing, as I usually set an onerous list of activities that must be completed before the fun thing can be obtained. Example: "Get dressed, pants and shoes included, brush teeth, then we can go hear Neil Conan sing sea chanties."
Making matters worse, I need to do this twice a day.
Usually when I ask the kids to brush they adopt a surprised, bemused expression, as if I had never before asked them to engage in this quaint activity. "Brush?"
The kids believe, incorrectly, that if they stay in their pajamas until evening they will only have to brush their teeth once. I supposed they have gotten away with it a few times, but I'm wise to the ploy now.
I plan to adopt a new policy for the times when teeth brushing is forgotten. I call it the Double Brush, when the kids brush their teeth twice consecutively. This is necessary as the dentist routinely chastises us for allowing the plaque equivalent of an equatorial jungle to build up on our kids' teeth. I'm hoping the Oregon Dental Association can help me out with a new video.
And, yes, teeth brushing would theoretically continue to be compounded should it be missed for weeks or months.
"No I'm sorry the kids are busy today," I might say, "they're catching up on their oral hygiene for next five hours."