Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Tuesday Photo Fiesta

The 10-year-old very much enjoyed an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in which a character composes a song called Pinot Noir, prompting him to put up a good many post-it notes.

Wearing his mother's coat the kid looks great.
The kids continue to refuse crayons but I have no compunction.

The daughter photographed me in the mists of my distraction.

We all know what's coming with this.

Portland's northeast neighborhood grows impatient with 50 years of Occupation.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Level Of Chaos Becomes More Literary As Kids Age: Spring Break Epic Poem

Siblings without rivalry

The kid composed a stirring poem about spring break. A dramatic reading took place which resulted in the following video.

Friday, March 27, 2015

The Public Will Be A Smartass

The quick wit with a Sharpie strikes a blow for tree empathy.
I was biking home and enjoyed an eco message from an anonymous source today, underscoring that I do indeed live in Portland, Ory-gun.

As it is Friday here are some selfies actual children took of themselves.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Modeling Parenting Behavior: Conversation With President Obama

Not to be put off by lack of access, I had a forthright conversation about various issues with President Obama's life-size cardboard figure.

An older gentleman informed me that one aspect of successful parenting was modeling behavior. As his children survived into adulthood and apparently live "normal" lives, I felt he was onto something.

The kernel of the idea is the nippers will see us parents doing stuff and want to do it, too. The trick is to get the kids to see the good stuff and not the psycho angst that compels me to stay up all night firing off emails to the Ukraine and screaming at an imaginary Slavic assistant named Pjotr to bring more Slivovitz and pierogi.

We all have our moments.

More to the point, I have playfully spoken into a banana pretending it is a telephone, created a song and dance celebrating southern culture and hot dogs, inverted children when necessary, and dutifully watched  The Walking Dead because otherwise I would have no common reference point with my offspring.

When recently in Washington D.C. I wanted to show my family back home that I was involved in "issues" and "stuff" that "people" get involved in. So I had my earnest moment of dialogue with Cardboard Obama. We spoke wistfully about the Affordable Care Act, Congressional obstructionism, and had a good laugh at a certain prime minister's expense -- you know who you are Mr. Soggy Felafel.

I suppose I should feel inadequate that a piece of cardboard spoke more eloquently than myself, but I am blessed with short attention span and am not troubled by such things.

Just need to ...Pjotr!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Original Artwork By Kid Inspires Discussion Of Tattoos

A Spanish assignment gives rise to a striking image.
After the parent-teacher conference we were given a stack of work to look through.

This image is most suitable for a tattoo, I decided, finding the floating banner frames the bee in a suitably dramatic fashion.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Room Of The 13-year-old

Order and disorder combine for a unique aesthetic -- vive le mess!
Rumor posits clothing in those drawers.

I'm hoping to bring in a more appropriate-sized desk one of these days.

The heart of the operation: messenger bag and laptop.


Sleeping safe under the sigil of Batman.

Order reigns supreme in the library.

The clothing has either been outgrown or not returned to the closet.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Internet Allows Smart-assedness To Travel Quickly

New diagram clarifies how one should proceed in a paper-replacement situation.
LSS had enough of erroneous replacement of toilet paper rolls.

With phone in hand she summoned the wiseacres of the internet to get the above graphic.

Peace now reigns in the bathroom.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Antiquated Cookbook Sparks Interest In Cooking For 10-year-old

Perhaps because this dated book lacked the pretense and truffle oil of Food Channel recipes the kid wanted to try it out.
The 10-year-old went to a used book sale and purchased the above tome. Apparently the cookbook was published by Campbell as there was no title page or ISBN number, leaving me to approximate the date -- best guess 1958.

The kid was keen to try out a recipe -- "Pizza Doggies" called out to him. Not sure if he knows what a square dance is.

 He made a shopping list and we went together to the market to buy supplies. As it was Saturday he asked for a special lunch treat -- sushi rolls -- proving his tastes are not mired in the pedestrian. Extra fun occurred when we found Campbell tomato soup and did not need to risk using an off brand.

That evening he prepared the meal, asking questions and getting annoyed with I offered too much hands-on help.

I am thrilled he is showing interest and initiative in the kitchen.

The pizza doggies tasted good, too -- as someone with a deep appreciation of pizza I find it hard to dislike any food item covered with tomato and garlic sauce with melted cheese on top.

Not to be outdone, the 13-year-old baked delicious chocolate chip cookies. Proud? You bet!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

The Captain's Log of The Pacific Pathfinders


March 11th 2015,

Yesterday I commanded my crew in a portage at the Federation’s Field’s Trail, we had to carry a kayak full of supplies across the trail, to simulate what the Lewis and Clark Expedition had to do.

We faced multiple challenges such as Prickly Pear (Blackberry Bush), The weight of our food, water, and guns (Backpacks), and unforgiving terrain (Such as very steep parts of the trail, both up and down).

I commanded my crew to the Pacific Ocean (The field again), and as Captain It’s my duty to yell something inspirational to the troops.
So I yelled “OCEAN IN VIEW!” and we all were cheering (Or screaming in agony from the Blackberry Bushes).

When we got to the middle of the field, we put the Kayak back, I gave my crew showers and drinks, Pvt. Feinblatt of the platoon known as West Of The Mississippi crafted
bandages of grass and tissue primarily for the Capt. of the platoon known as River Runners, and Pvt. N. of West Of The Mississippi, who both had many marks on their legs.

Weekend Creativity Fest: More Fun With Video

A behind-the-scene look at our budding star.
The weekend is here! And the 10-year-old is fed up with blogging and bloggers! The written word? Feh!

The kid got up, ate breakfast, dressed and brushed his teeth, wrote a script, shot it, and spent a few hours editing it for the masterpiece below. A lesson in artistic vision and focus.

The kid's videos are popular at school so he definitely knows his audience. I'm always happy to be in the company of certitude and direction.

Embed function is down, so click here to see video.

Monday, March 9, 2015

From The Mind Of A Ten-year-old: Fashion Design

M.T. Freezer

If being awesome was a misdemeanor 
Then I would be in supermax

I suggested to the kid that the word "crime" instead of "misdemeanor" might make his message more readily digestible to the public, but he would have none of it.

The kid's thinking was that his awesomeness would translate to such a vast amount of misdemeanors that society would have no choice but to put him in a supermax prison, even though the nature of his criminal offenses were fairly minor.

The squirrel sums things up nicely.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Kid Creativity Forces Blogger To Futz Down Memory Lane

Wacky Packs were the pinnacle of cool in 1975 4th-grade Minnesota.
The 10-year-old got the chance to design his own "M.T. Freezer" T-shirt. I will not spill the beans about all the graphic excellence so as to save some content for another post.

Seeing how happy the kid was in his new shirt made me think about one of my favorite shirts from a similar time in life. However, my shirt had the graphic of "Belches Grape Juice," rather than the jelly pictured above. As a 10-year-old belching was the best activity ever, and to wear such on a shirt was, well, to live in a constant state of giddy excitement.

Whatever problem I have with the new generation I need to remember that somehow kids today have better taste in graphics.