Sunday, April 28, 2019

Synagogue Shooting Reaction: More HIAS

Regarding a donation in reaction to the recent synagogue shooting, our family will be donating additional money to HIAS – the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society.

The Poway shooter in his manifesto said he was a white supremacist and wanted to show support for the Pittsburgh shooter. Both men worried the purity of the white race would be diluted with immigrants.

HIAS was founded for Jews arriving on these shores but now operates to help immigrants in general.

If the root cause of the shootings was a willingness by Americans to tolerate racism and white supremacy, I can think of no better reaction than to support HIAS.

If you wish to participate, here is the link:

Saturday, April 27, 2019

More Refrigerator Drama

When does a container lack substance to the point it should no longer be placed in the refrigerator?

An empty box holding not even a residue of food should not be placed in the refrigerator.

But what about the above container?

It might conceivably contain a half teaspoon of spinach dip. I am conflicted. Part of me would have just grabbed an inch of matzoh and killed the dip, while the other part believes I would be rewarding my future self with a quick bite if I returned the container to the fridge.

While yet another part of me believes I would be taunting my future self by being a smartass in the present – ha-ha, you thought there was food here!

This is the headspace I reside in. I know.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Earnest Conceptual Abstraction

Sometimes the daughter and I like to pretend we are the mutant cyborg offspring of David Byrne’s cowboy-hat-wearing character in the film “True Stories.” I call these times moments of earnest conceptual abstraction. Here is an example:

Imagine the totality. Everything. All that you can imagine. The universe and beyond.

Then imagine the singularity. The complete totality compressed into a subatomic particle that the highest level of theoretical physics cannot yet prove exists.

Between these two extremes exists a box, that is refrigerator size because it is in fact a refrigerator. One section houses the freezer section, in which the ice cream cake resides at an appropriate temperature.

In this way I shared the information about the special dessert we had in honor of a birthday. Good times.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Excellence from the Past

The filter suggests the photo is from the eighties, but is from February of 2011. Here is a most excellent video from that period.

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Empty Container Left In Refrigerator

The mochi had been consumed, but the packaging remained.

Once Again the Scotch ATG 714 to the Rescue

Back in the day when pasting photos in an album was a big thing, I used this baby all the time for an excellent result. 

I felt like the wise old guy when a project needed a good adhesive solution. 

Rat As Fashion Accessory

Friday, April 12, 2019

The Duck Walk Returns Due To Popular Demand

The Duck Walk is when the kids and I walk from our home to Chen's Good Taste restaurant to eat wonton noodle soup with duck.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Saturday, April 6, 2019

Really Expensive Electronic Toothbrush

The app is supportive! 
The ap will adapt to your preferences without being snitty.

I paid $174 for a toothbrush. Yes, I can admit this in public, or at least on the internet, which may be better or worse, depending on perspective.

I bought this because I was convinced I had sunk into bad habits, ones developed by mindless reveries during the home oral hygiene experience. I would turn on the old electronic toothbrush, think my happy thoughts, and finish when it automictically turned off a few minutes later, drooling and steadfast in my belief I had done a good job. I controlled the handle when it was in my mouth like a regular analog toothbrush because nobody had taught me different.

I purchased a Philips Sonicare DiamondClean model in part because it has a few pressure and location sensors and a Bluetooth hookup for an ap on a phone. Now when I brush my teeth I bring my phone into the bathroom and launch the app.

The best feature is that the ap suggests which section of my mouth I should be brushing during the 3 minute session, giving me feedback at the end, reporting if I gave short shrift to any teeth. It tells me if I’m using too much pressure, keeps count of my brushing habits, and alters vibration intensity to my specification (I’ve chosen gum health, rather than whitening or alien abduction). The short little brush strokes I’ve been doing for decades bring a red warning light on the ap. As a result, I’m being trained to brush in the Philips manner.

I realize that hackers could steal this information and use it to their advantage, perhaps enticing me with illicit oral-care products, or subvert any future presidential bids based on my brushing habits (He has neglected his incisors! For shame!). As a life-long risk-taker, I accept the danger.


Monday, April 1, 2019

Teenagers Co-opt Banana Phone Schtick

When the kids were little a way to make them laugh was to pick up a banana and pretend to have conversations with President Obama, or other high level people.

This was possible because the kids had seen old movies and television shows where a landline handset had been used.

I enjoyed pretending I had been called to instruct the president how to make pancakes or handle rowdy senators.

Sadly, those days are long gone. Now, my children take the schtick to the next level by recreating those times in over-earnest playfulness (or smartassery).

Life is good!