Kids Love Sea Shanties - Go Figure

Some sort of sailing vessel, whatever.

After many promises, I finally gave the kiddos a dose of the sea shanty. An instant hit!

"Goddamn Right Bob" New Catchphrase

A cartoon from the book "How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you"

My daughter received the above book and the whole family has benefited. In one segment cats are portrayed as highly malicious (and adorable) office workers.

"Goddamn right Bob" has become our new catchphrase for any affirmative. Works for me.

The Most Popular Seat In the House

The kid is in his office.

The above diagram shows the most contested spot in the house -- the Couch Corner.

I myself have sat there years ago. It is indeed cozy and comfortable. Next time I get really furious a good tactic might be to plant myself there and refuse to budge unless contrition is immediately forthcoming.

Too many arguments to count have occurred over this patch of couch real estate. The eternal point of contention is how long one may vacate the spot for a bathroom or snack break before all rights become null and void.

I accept my journey into insanity when I contemplate that when the family sits down we're like the Simpsons, or the players in "All in the Family," with our assigned spots in front of the television. Everything changes, everything stays the same -- but at least I get to blog about it!

  

Fashion for Kids Explained By Ex-child

So far the girl child appears to take more interest in clothes and appearance. I understand that this could change at any moment.

Having been a child once myself, I understand the difficulty in dressing and the frustration of having the favorite pair of sweatpants be in the wash. When you're 8 there is still the remote possibility of foregoing pants.

More to the point, I'm glad LSS deals with this issue. I suspect if it were up to me hardy coveralls would make a comeback in all colors except orange. She, too, is an ex-child and celebrates the thrill of putting an excellent outfit together. 

No Lyrics Doesn't Stop Kid Singing Star Wars Theme

Star Wars plays a central, if not essential, role in our lives.

Getting the kid into the shower is a task unto itself. I'm glad he found some galactic joy in the experience.

Kid Treats Shopping List Unrealistically

The 8-year-old has better handwriting than me.

My son is hoping that by adding graphics to the shopping list such will sway my food decisions.

Our policy on waffles and bacon is that these foods are rarely in the house. They're not banned per se, but when we buy them and in what quantity are questions no one, not even me, can articulate clearly. 

On the bright side, he will get a fresh mango.

My Little Zombie

I know, I know, I'm late to this party.

The daughter is pushing hard to get permission to watch "Walking Dead." For full details view the following video:

Media Picks From an 11-year-old

The transition out of the cute and cuddly phase has started.

The best thing my daughter has brought to me recently is the martial arts noise that Bruce Lee supposedly made repeatedly in his films. Written out it appears thus: Hadouken!

The daughter breaks crisp staccato moves, some martial arts, some oral hygiene, while saying this word with all the intensity and martial arts wisdom an 11-year-old can muster. This is pure excellence writ large.

Other things flowed my way from the kid:

Enjoy the weekend!

Zombies Trending

Perhaps this new interest will inspire development of wilderness survival skills.

While the son is into sloths, the daughter is into zombies. She doesn't have any video games yet, but she's been watching videos of others playing those games and is starting to feel the vibe.

Below is a video of her showing off her new zombie affectations:

Concern Expressed Over Sloth Content

"Don't mock me": Sloth appreciation is taken seriously in these parts.

Today my son expressed concern that my sign-off graphic wasn't being fair to sloths. Initially he thought the image was an X-ray and therefore not taking the cute and cuddly exterior of sloths into account.

The kid was not pacified by learning the graphic was photoshoped in the name of sloth art and stoke proclamation.

I suggested he start his own blog for his collection of sloth pictures. He liked that idea, but ultimately felt it better to be a blog lobbyist rather than a blogger himself.

I'll meditate on his suggestion and try and develop a non-sloth graphic. Now that I've started ruminating on those cute little buggers I can't get them out of my head!

No actual sloths were harmed or consulted in the production of this image.

 

History Repeats Itself (Again!)

A beautiful room -- but was it ever used?

A pleasant walk from our home is the Pittock Mansion, a 22-room estate built in 1909 that is now owned by the Portland City Parks and Recreation Bureau. I have toured the restored interior several times with my family and am always impressed with the regal manner of decoration.

As with any large house, there are walk in pantries and closets, multi-sectioned bathrooms, a Turkish smoking alcove, and, of course, the actual place where the household of twelve ate breakfast each morning. This room, however, is miniscule, which makes me feel that the family was much like my own (unfortunately I didn't take a picture, owing to extreme ordinariness).

We, too, eat most of our meals around a modest table, and the family rarely spreads out to take advantage of all the space. We have a larger table which we only use several times a year for dining or complicated craft projects.

I might tell a child to get out of my bed, or yell encouragement to go play in the "playroom," but ultimately we exist in our own beds and in the family room, which includes the kitchen, couch-TV setup, and the daily dining table. 

I like it this way, and feel supported by history that this is how one should live. Now just need to have full-time staff to pick up all the crap in these high-use areas.

Exploding Heads -- A Good Weekend

Breakfast of Champions: Sunday morning I felt the fun from Saturday. I took this snap as my usual fare is Jimmy Dean blueberry pancake-wrapped sausages. I want the casual reader to know I occasionally eat food without trans fat.

Nothing says party like setting the clocks forward an hour. We didn't exactly follow through with that dictum, but we did enjoy ourselves in a relaxing way this weekend.

I went skiing with my son Saturday which explains the above photo. On the slopes we joined some friends and I had the privilege to share a chairlift ride with three 8-year-olds. The panel earnestly discussed where each had seen graffiti resembling a penis and testicles on the ski hill. All seemed appropriate for a day out with the boys.

Sunday we took it slow and I was given a glimpse of what my daughter was getting up to on her iPad.

I suppose none of these details bear repeating, but that's the point. Sometimes the absolute normalcy of life is that which must be celebrated.

The Universe Has Spoken - Reader Appreciation

Child fleeing obsessive parent with camera.

Today I will humbly thank my readers for their patronage as today this blog is quasi-officially about 10 months old, sort of, and has been viewed as of today 8,460 times -- although the vast majority of hits have been by my mom.

So what do people look for when they visit Portdaddia? Below are the top five posts.

Sure-fire Kid Catnip Dec 10, 2012
What Martial Arts Means to the Daughter Oct 9, 2012
The Daughter’s Turn Jan 2, 2013
Interview With an Israeli Jul 20, 2012
Daughter's Self-Reflections Nov 9, 2012

Also intriguing was that the below video was searched and viewed by the Youtube universe 279 times.

Thanks for reading!

We All Have Our Thing (Sloths)

A small sampling of the many images.

My phone is the boring one with no games and a fussy owner who will spaz out if the settings are changed. So what does an 8-year-old do with such a device?

Answer: Load it up with 115 screenshots of sloths and a few seals.

I really can't fault the kid as the sloths are cute. I'm also thrilled when a school lesson makes an impact -- the class recently completed a unit on the rainforest.

British Invasion (Of Our Minds) Continues

Not content to rest on their laurels, the kids continue to develop their British nature show idea with a theme song:

Kids With Video Camera 2

Funny, they don't look British.

Here's what happens when the younger gets his chance to be the presenter:

Bonus video for scholars and serious amateurs:

Kids With Video Camera 1

Expect the unexpected.

For some time the kids both have had devices (iPad, iPod Touch) that can record video, but for some reason they have not flexed their creativity in this regard.

Recently a small camcorder came to us, the type with a LCD screen that pops out from the camera body at a 90-degree angle. This more traditional configuration piqued their interest in video production. The following is the result.

2nd Grade Rainforest Activists

I know what he means.

Big day for the second grader. Check out the video.