Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Slavic Squat Comes To Portland

The kid recently acquired an "authentic" East German flag, failing to learn if authenticity meant the flag was from the era of the republic or if it just was accurate in its design.

The kid is pictured doing a "slavic squat," an item that is well-documented on the internet. Here is a representational image, note the shiny Adidas track suit and pointy leather shoes.

The kid is sensitive to a reality and culture beyond my purview. He is wearing a ball cap with the communist logo of hammer and sickle. His interest in political history is a good omen.

What such interest portends, I haven't a clue, but I say...Stoke!

Sunday, January 20, 2019

The Kid's New Video Game Interest

This is the new game that has the kid's speech full of terms such as vassals and fiefdoms. Here is a sample of game play.

Despite the first-person shooter perspective, the game is one of strategy. A player must recruit fighters and build an army.

The kid plays under the name Horatius Grundlepeck.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Real-life Parenting: The Empty Chip Bag

Yesterday one kid finished the bag of chips and put the empty bag back on the shelf.

The other kid went into the pantry, expressed dismay that the chips had been finished, then replaced the empty bag back on the shelf.

I found the empty bag and threw it away.

Life is good, but there are always challenges.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Internet Education Continues: Big Chungus

As expected, this is another neologism from the 14-year-old. He is a fan of Reddit and dreams of one day developing the video game that will do "Big Chungus" justice.

All these new terms are exciting in the safety of home, but I'm not going to use them in public until a late-night talk show host validates them on air.

I like the freedom of expressions that can mean anything and everything.


Wednesday, January 16, 2019

A Moment To Praise The Humble Toaster Oven

This used to be my favorite kitchen appliance, now it's second after the electric kettle that can be set to different temperatures for perfectly brewed green tea. But for the sheer drama of melted cheese, nothing else comes close.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Absolute Unit Arrives

Last night the kid began telling us about the phrase "absolute unit." I sniggered, thinking this was a penis joke. Not to be.

The kid, versed in meme culture, explained the definition, cited above.

"In awe at the size of this rat -- absolute unit!"

Monday, January 14, 2019

Great Name For Skis -- Sickday

When shopping for skis the Line ski "Sickday" was a personal favorite for marketing.

Unfortunately, given my current fetish for fat skis, 114mm underfoot is just too damn skinny.

This is what happens when I stop posting about rats, I just sink into the minutiae of life in Oregon.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Happy Rat #3

The rats were getting on my case, upset there wasn't adequate content about them on this blog.

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Smartassery Alive and Well At High School

Recently at my daughter’s high school I pursued a display of graphic works. Here is the text from the above poster.

You get to school early, just needing to print an assignment. You head up to the library – but what’s this? The computers are all on fire.

You find your first period class, but then have to wait 15 minutes for the teacher to get there and unlock the door.

You need to pee. Too bad the hall pass got stolen three weeks ago. Or, some a**hole took the pass out 40 minutes ago and hasn’t come back.

It’s FLEX. Surprise! You have a mandatory assembly about recycling or something (go cards!)

You step into the bathroom. The ceiling tiles fell down. The toilets are overflowing. It smells suspiciously of cotton candy.

The “cotton candy” is a reference to vaping (my daughter had to tell me this). Some things, like smoking in the bathroom, never go out of style.