Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Life Not Radically Different In 2011

Something about putting shirts on my head has been a constant in my life.

Celebrate the rat!

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Cool Tool For Readers and Writers

The Google Ngram Viewer reflects the frequency of a word's use and shows when in the past 200 years the word's use peaked.

The above chart shows that the word "lifestyle" was invented in the 1960s and its use quickly spread.

The above chart is for "life-style." The graph suggests that in the Sixties there was no consensus on if this should be hyphenated. As the decades went by "lifestyle" won out.

This is a great tool and a fun way to procrastinate.

Celebrate the rat!

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Israel/ Palestine And The Street Poet

Portland has a nice waterfront park at the end of which is the Saturday Market, a place where craftspeople can sell their wares. As I walked through this cornucopia of duct-tape wallets, candles, kombucha, and wind chimes, I came across a poet for hire.

The patron would give the poet a word or concept and the poet would create poetry right there on the spot, typed and everything. Then the patron would give a donation based on whatever patrons think about at those moments.

I decided before engaging the poet how much I would give and arranged the bills in my pocket. This was also to protect myself from myself, for I knew I would be playing with fire.

“Israel/Palestine is the concept,” I told the poet. “Express yourself however you see fit.”
I knew that the potential loomed to hear something awful. The poet had a tattooed neck and hands, green numbers and symbols poking out of his clothing. On his left hand’s middle finger was an upturned crucifix which suggested that he had no problem with confrontation.

Portland has no shortage of real, unmitigated anti-Semites. If the poet had something hateful to say, here was his platform. I told myself no matter the poem I would hand over the money and walk away, unless, of course, I became overwhelmed with uncontrollable urges.

“That a heavy one. Mind if I smoke?” The poet said this in a manner which let me know cigarettes were a precious commodity. I was glad he took this seriously.

When he finished the poem, he made a show of using sealing wax to stamp the paper – a dove. This was his only seal.

Here is the poem he wrote:

This was my litmus test of the universe and positivity won out. And, as is my nature, I proclaim stoke for all of humanity.

Celebrate the rat!

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Traditional Curses

I was surfing around Reddit today and came upon a group of "traditional curses" which I found too excellent not to post here. If I was a better person I would individually attribute each curse to its author, but this is too much work. To all these quick wits, I salute you!

  • May none of your USBs be safe to eject.
  • Mayyourspacekeystopworkingwheneveryoutrytowriteafunnytraditionalcurse
  • May your dominant hand shrink by 1/16 every time you flip someone the bird.
  • May you always wake up reminded of your greatest failure.
  • No matter who you are with, you will have to fight over simple things.
  • May you never find the hair that is stuck on your tongue.
  • May you always lose your shopping list, but only when your kids are with you.
  • May no soul give to your GoFundMe.
  • May you be forced to over-analyze every piece of music you listen to.
  • May your turn signal never sync up with either the music you are listening to or the turn signals of any of the cars around you.
  • May all your tortilla chips break into triangular pieces that stab the roof of your mouth.
  • May your words be incorrectly autocorrected every time you attempt to clarify a typo in a previous text message.

Celebrate the rat!

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Kid Turning 14 Means Some Toys Need To Go

The above pile of clothes and toys are items the kid, who will soon turn 14, has outgrown.

I particularly like the progression of weaponry through the ages: the bow; the flintlock musket, the Kalashnikov, and the pump-action Nerf rifle.

These toy guns might have been put in the pile due to the kid’s growing awareness of the prevalent gun violence of this country. Here he is at a local rally for Governor Kate Brown sponsored by Moms Demand Action for Gun Violence Prevention.

Mad Magazine also is on the outs, although I was 28 when I finally gave it up.

Time moves on.


Celebrate the rat!

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Crazy Good Time On The Timberline Trail

I proclaim stoke for all the manifold blessings! I was fortunate to join the Mazamas on their annual Round The Mountain hike of the Timberline Trail. Three days, nearly 50 miles of challenging mountain terrain. Each night we returned to Mazamas Lodge at Government Camp and enjoyed bunks, showers, and, most important, lots of delicious food. The people were great, the weather perfect, a fantastic good time. Many thanks to everyone who helped make this happen.

The fuzzy plant on the right had three common names, but the only one I remember was "Hippy on a Stick."

Celebrate the rat!