Monday, May 21, 2012

Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant

Parents, the train has left the station, are you kinda, sorta ready?

 What did you imagine parenting to be? I’ve been a parent for 10 years now, and I still have no idea what will occur tomorrow in terms of where the challenge lies – will it be in macramé, dog grooming, healing with crystals, heathen conversion, satellite deployment?

More like accepting and appreciating random, life-affirming spontaneity that comes in bizarre packets of whack. (The first crack at this sentence was Every day a new challenge. After mock puking I got down to it).

I remember getting on a plane when my daughter was a toddler in diapers. A mom with three little girls, maybe five, seven, and nine, all politely took their seats. No jockeying for position, no arguing who sat where. Each wore modest, stylish clothes, hair perfectly done, and carried a small carry-on.

The mom made a few remarks, the kids sat and took out books – it all looked so effortless. I thought that such was my due as a parent. Sure there would be rough patches, I told myself, but the smooth sailing would look like this mother and her offspring.

I later learned this mom, a notorious international saboteur, escaped incarceration and kidnapped the girls. After drugging them with Benadryl and dressing them in Hanna Anderson, they all boarded the plane to attend Comic-Con as slave Princess Leia and some enraged Ewoks.
My life is different. I was with the kids all weekend and turned on the video camera, hoping for a happy accident. Video is a great tool to capture the random energy that characterizes kids.
One kid was a medieval warrior with a hankering for American history. The other, just carried away with a classic Cramps cover. However, things did get more serious. 
 Stay tuned for our blockbuster fan film.

The title for this post comes from dialogue from the Cartoon Network series “Adventure Time,” a cartoon that does well to promote the surreal nature of childhood.

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