Notes From Camp

Spontaneous expression or forced camp activity?

The seven-year-old who decamped for a week of summer camp on the Oregon coast has sent us the following missive:

Dear Family,
Camp is Great. I Feel Like its The Best Place in earth. Who cried when I Left?

Myself and Mrs. Portdaddia were giving the letter close textual analysis, looking for semiotic clues to an essential truth. But before we explored hegemonic references, the following arrived:

By "Package" does he mean love? We are now rushing to evacuate the kid from  the wasteland previously known as "camp."

The letter, written on orange paper, perhaps referencing fraternal protestant organizations in Northern Ireland, or a popular Dutch soccer club, arrived on the heels of the first:

I Went canoeing and drama. (So Far) Still who cried when I Left. (Please say who cried In next letter) I forgot to say after canoeing I was as wet as Devils Lake. I want a package!

Questions about crying, statements about being wet -- we've decided that the 90-minute drive is too much time. We've called the Coast Guard -- they've got helicopters!