How to Be a Connoisseur

Once upon a time I wanted to be a connoisseur of food and drink. I began the process and did better on the food side of things. My relaxed philosophy is universalist in that many foods are already perfect; they just need the right environment to be exulted. I couldn’t imagine eating foie gras at a ballpark. A regular hot dog is wonderful.

I tried to learn about wine and spirits, but I just didn’t drink enough of anything to really cultivate serious opinions. I tried drinking coffee but with even less success as it doesn’t agree with me.

As I began to drink tea, by default I became a fussy tea person – or a connoisseur, or a pain in the ass. As I am home a lot, I can brew tea in a teapot and order teas not found in the grocery store over the internet.

Tea is the most popular beverage in the world and the philosophy is if it tastes good, drink it.

The above teas reflect my current habit of drinking copious amounts of green tea. The caffeine content is mild, one batch of leaves can be infused up to three times if I’m super thirsty, and I can pontificate about the superlative nature of a variety without ever encountering a serious rebuttal. Try that with your whiskey.

Also, I can always move into fancy teapots if I want to advance my expertise in a new direction.

Despite claims to be a fancy person when it comes to tea, I am still grateful to get a cup of hot water and a sachet of pedestrian black tea when on a plane or out and about.

Maybe the secret of being a connoisseur is to chill the fuck out and drink whatever you want without too much fuss.