Saturday, September 15, 2018

Traditional Curses

I was surfing around Reddit today and came upon a group of "traditional curses" which I found too excellent not to post here. If I was a better person I would individually attribute each curse to its author, but this is too much work. To all these quick wits, I salute you!

  • May none of your USBs be safe to eject.
  • Mayyourspacekeystopworkingwheneveryoutrytowriteafunnytraditionalcurse
  • May your dominant hand shrink by 1/16 every time you flip someone the bird.
  • May you always wake up reminded of your greatest failure.
  • No matter who you are with, you will have to fight over simple things.
  • May you never find the hair that is stuck on your tongue.
  • May you always lose your shopping list, but only when your kids are with you.
  • May no soul give to your GoFundMe.
  • May you be forced to over-analyze every piece of music you listen to.
  • May your turn signal never sync up with either the music you are listening to or the turn signals of any of the cars around you.
  • May all your tortilla chips break into triangular pieces that stab the roof of your mouth.
  • May your words be incorrectly autocorrected every time you attempt to clarify a typo in a previous text message.

Celebrate the rat!


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