Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Crazy Day At EWK

Newark airport is a big place with all sorts  of travelers. I mostly put myself in the "not completely insane" category, but recent events push me to reconsider. 

In the security line the woman behind me appeared visibly drunk. She was laughing loudly, teasing the TSA staff about their last names, her breath smelling like an explosion at a holiday Tiki bar. 

She noted that we had similar laptop computers and should try hard to avoid confusion. I agreed, saying my data was quite boring. "Mine is scintillating," she said. 

I then focused on getting myself through screening. In front of me a woman removed her neckbrace  and went through the imaging machine. 

After I cleared security and collected my gear, I noticed the neckbrace had been abandoned. "Who forgets she is wearing a neckbrace," I thought. I set out to fix this. 

Afterwards when I stopped to arrange myself, I realized I had forgotten to claim my laptop. The drunk woman had been querying bald men about the computer.

"What kind of person forgets his laptop?" She asked. I mumbled something. 

I walked towards my gate, eager to sit down and verify I had the right machine. 

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